The physical, intellectual, emotional and social changes that middle schoolers are experiencing rival those of babies and toddlers. Not only can this time of life be confusing (imagine how you would feel if your foot size changed three times in six months!), it can cause some very real stress for kids.

Defining pre-adolescent stress

Although the types of things that lead to stress for children may be unique, their reactions are often much the same as adults.

Situations such as trying out for a sports team or taking an important test can elicit a wide range of responses in kids. While some may experience total calm, others become agitated and edgy. Still other may have a "fight or flight" response when faced with having to do something uncomfortable. The adrenaline rush associated with their anxiety may cause them to either lash out at others or run away from the situation.

Chronic stress is the term for on-going stress, often caused by more serious situations, such as parents’ divorce or bullying. Some possible signs of chronic stress include:

• Upset stomach, diarrhea or indigestion
• Headache, backache
• Insomnia
• Eating too much or too little
• Hostile, angry or irritable reactions
• Avoiding other people
• Crying
• Frustration with things that would otherwise only bother them slightly

Helping kids handle stress

Here are some suggestions to help ease your children’s stress:

Make time for your children each day. Though your children may seem to want more space and freedom, they actually still crave attention from the people closest to them. In the middle years, parents really need to know what is going on in their children’s lives, and the only way to do that is to talk and spend time with them.

Encourage proper rest and nutrition. The demands of school work, extracurricular activities and socializing can result in late bedtimes and less-than-stellar diets for kids. Children in middle school are still growing and need adequate rest (at least eight to 10 hours of sleep a night). A diet rich in wholesome foods can ensure proper growth, as well as bolster the ability to handle stress.

Give their concerns serious consideration. If you are lucky enough to have children who confide in you about their concerns, take these matters to heart. Although arguments with friends may seem trivial to you, they likely loom large in their minds. Give your children time to talk things out without immediately interjecting your opinions or trying to solve their problems for them.

Help your children put stress in perspective. Helping them think through the worst case scenario might ease some of the lurking fears that can cause stress (example: "What is the worst thing that will happen if your don’t pass the math test? You’ll have to study harder and try to do better on your next exam.").

Set limits and stay firm. Even though kids at this age would never say it, what they really want are limits and supervision. So much is changing for them. To feel safe and secure in this part of their lives, they need to know that some things (such as their parents’ love, respect and expectations) are the same.

Help children anticipate and plan for potentially stressful situations. For example, the stress created by last-minute cramming for a major test can be lessened by scheduling study sessions in the week(s) leading up to the test.

Encourage your children to stay active. Endorphins, the chemicals released during and after a workout, create feelings of calmness and well-being. Stress-relieving exercise can range from walking or bike riding to yoga or martial arts.

Encourage hobbies and extra-curricular activities. Any activity that focuses your children’s attention and provides a sense of accomplishment can be a great stress reliever. However, for some kids, too much structured activity can be the cause of stress. Use your children’s comments and reactions to judge whether they should add or reduce activities.

Model positive ways of coping with stress. If you brood, yell or skip meals in reaction to the stresses of your own life, your children will learn similar methods of coping. Many of the suggestions offered for easing kids’ stress can help adults handle their own stress.

When stress turns to depression

Chronic, unresolved stress can result in depression. Depression involves extreme sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for lengths of time. It can affect a person’s ability to function normally. If you are concerned that your child’s problems go beyond average stress, contact a pediatrician, guidance counselor or social worker. For more information on childhood stress and depression, link to http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/anxiety.html